You and Your Finances

Getting control of your finances means a lot more than just getting control of your money. It means getting a handle on your habits: what you think about money and how you spend it. You need to balance your short-term and long-term goals. Not only can getting control decrease much of your stress, it can also help you prepare for the future.

During the separation process you will be negotiating finances, the division of property, and support for your children and possibly yourself. It is important that knowledge, rather than emotions or other people’s opinions, guide you. Informed decisions are more likely to produce long term results that are beneficial to each parent and to the children.

Every family is different and every family’s finances are different. Consider:

Do they have a lot of assets?
Does one person pay all the bills and make all the financial decisions, or do they share?
What is their monthly cash flow?
What special expenses do they have?
Do they have savings?
Are their credit cards maxed out?
Do they maintain a family budget?

Taking Stock

Consider the following questions:

What does money mean to you?

Most people have powerful feelings about money. Sometimes, these feelings can make it hard to arrive at rational decisions. One parent’s feelings about money may make it harder to keep a relationship harmonious.

Some people are afraid to deal with money at all. Others worry constantly about money, and this worrying affects the quality of their lives – whether they have enough money or not.

It’s common for people to have a variety of feelings about money at the same time, and even to switch from one set of feelings to another. For example, someone might worry and obsess about money one day and the next day, go out and buy a bunch of unnecessary products.

Just as feelings about money vary, so, too can behaviours. Some people hate spending money; others spend it freely. Some are able to attend to daily financial tasks, while others avoid these tasks as much as possible. Certain individuals don’t invest their money at all while others invest conservatively and still others take great financial risks

What role did you play in managing your family’s finances before separation?

It is important to understand your role in managing your family’s finances prior to separation. You need to assess your strengths and weaknesses around financial matters, and to be able to identify where you may need help.

Lack of information about your household expenses or your mortgage can lead to bills remaining unpaid, loss of services, or defaulting on your loan or mortgage payments. Poor money management can put you at risk of losing your vehicle or your home.

Lack of information about your family’s assets and liabilities can limit your ability to obtain a fair property settlement. You may need to speak to your bank manager to understand your options about accounts, and separating your finances from that of your former spouse. You may need to get help from a credit counsellor or another financial professional to understand your debts and the options you have to resolve them.

How equipped are you to deal with your new financial situation?

Do you have enough money to meet your basic expenses?
Will you need to look for a job?
Do you have to move?
Will you need to set up a separate bank account?
Do you need help to negotiate an interim order or an agreement for child or spousal support?
Will you make support payments or will you receive them?

These are important questions and you may have other financial questions that should be answered. Before you move on, take some time to answer these questions and think about your financial picture.

Would professional help improve your understanding of your financial options?

Did finances play a part in the decision to separate? If so, you may need to seek professional help to understand your responsibilities and your financial obligations. You may need to get professional help to understand your financial options and learn about ways to protect your financial interests.

You may not be good with money. You may be in debt. Lots of people are. What’s important is that you understand your own financial strengths and weaknesses and that you get the help you need to understand your financial picture now and what it will be after separation.

What are your financial goals?

Are you saving up for your children’s education, a vacation or retirement? All of them at once? Setting goals helps you understand your priorities. Try listing out a few short term, medium term and long term goals to work towards.