Mediators
Mediation is a negotiation that is helped by a neutral third party called a mediator. The mediator helps the people in a dispute to discuss the topics and come to an agreement.
As with negotiation, in mediation the parties speak directly to each other to try to come to an agreement; however, mediation includes a mediator who basically manages and guides the conversation. Often people try negotiating directly with each other first; when that doesn’t work, they will consider using a mediator.
A mediator is not a judge and does not tell the people what will happen in court. The mediator also cannot give you legal advice. The mediator will not make any decisions for you, it is up to you to make your own decisions.
When to use mediation?
Benefits of mediation
- Mediation is generally less expensive than going to court
- Mediation is faster than going to court
- Mediation results in higher satisfaction rates than court
- Mediation can help you and your former spouse communicate and solve problems
- Mediation lets you customize your own agreement
- Mediation is informal and private
- Mediation results in a stronger commitment to comply with the agreement
Drawbacks of mediation
- Mediation may end up being an additional cost – if the mediation does not result in an agreement, the parties have to continue to litigate or try to negotiate an agreement. However, even if a mediation does not end up in an agreement, the parties often are able to exchange information or make progress which creates the foundation for an agreement down the road.
- In some cases, the issues are so complex they require a decision-maker to impose a result. In those cases, mediation may not be beneficial.
When is mediation not appropriate?
- When one of the parties is not willing to mediate (unless there is a Notice to Mediate).
- When one or both of the parties is not willing to share information that is needed to negotiate a fair agreement, such as financial information.
- When there is or was violence or abuse between the parties. The mediator will assess this situation with pre-mediation discussions with each party before any joint mediation session is held.
Some factors to consider when choosing a mediator
- How much does the mediator charge?
- Where does the mediator work? Close to your home or place of work? Many mediators do distance mediation (using video conferencing.) so it may not be necessary to live near the mediator.
- Experience or familiarity with the topics that you want to discuss. For instance, you may want someone who has expertise in child development or working with families with special needs children, or experience with separations involving a family businesses.
- What is the mediator’s availability? Is the mediator flexible, e.g. does the mediator work evenings or weekends?
- Remember that mediators do not need to be lawyers. They can come from all kinds of backgrounds, e.g. business persons, counsellors, psychologists, etc.
Resources
When you are choosing a mediator, a good place to start is to review the mediators on the Mediate BC Family Roster.
